My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
