am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
there was a trapeze. enough said
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
