we have officially lost it.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
