Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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