The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
