Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
