So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
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