You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
