could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
