hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
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