At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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