i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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