I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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