IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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