Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Randomize