You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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