Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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