Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
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