if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
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