i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize