There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
