he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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