Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Randomize
