What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
