We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Randomize
