OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
The adults are the big ones right?
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Randomize