:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
