i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
