Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Randomize
