tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
The Olympian is in my bed
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