I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
