I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize