Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
