Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
