my mouth tastes like poor choices
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
