So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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