my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
