it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
