i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
