I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
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