but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
