Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
