Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
