I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
