This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Randomize
