Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
