what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
There r osticjed everywhere
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
