i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize