I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
he fucked my hip out of place.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
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