i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize