and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Hippo gnu deer
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Randomize