You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
