brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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