Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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