I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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