Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Randomize
